"Concerning Jennifer (Part 2: The Rebuttal)"

John Downey


1.) LOST WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY: We've been friends ever since we met nine-and-a-half years ago.
I've always sought her advice on dating, while I filled her in on how the male mind works. We've had to take
steps to make it known that we were NOT a couple, while laughing off suggestions that we should hook up.
If sex is introduced to our relationship, either we'll live together for the rest of our lives or I'll lose the person who
knows me the most.

2.) HABITS: She doesn't like wrestling. Or video games. Or rock'n'roll. Or David Cross.
Her haircuts aren't cheap, either.

3.) JEN'S DAUGHTER: In five years, I would be able to handle it. But at this point, I'm too young to lug around a preschooler.

4.) HER FAMILY: They thoroughly enjoy my company, and think of me as a son, but the fact of the matter is that she has
four older brothers, with a little brother who is aspiring to be a body builder. I'd prefer to stay on their good side.

5.) CASEY McKELLIS: I don't love her, but she loves me. I've been in this relationship for eight months now, and while
I want to end it soon, I don't want to hurt Casey in any way. She doesn't deserve it. How would it look if I left her and
then immediately shacked up with Jen?

COMING UP NEXT: THE VERDICT
(In which hearts are broken, wonderful mistakes are made, and our hero FINALLY grows up.)


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